Log 05: After Paris resurrection

In a previous post Log-04:My-Saturnine-film-After-Paris I talked about my personal journey of resurrection narrated in my first ever and autobiographical film After Paris. But, as time unfolds, my personal experience may have relevance to current global events. The journey of recovery and resurrection in the film, may be emotionally relevant for the survivors of the bloodbath in the Parisian streets, and similar survivors of other catastrophe  throughout the world.


I once showed my film to my aunt who's surviving the death of her loved son, my beloved cousin and friend . She could strongly connect to my personal story and it gave her some succor from her ocean of sorrow. I hope, similarly my film can provide some succor for the victims of the Paris attack, and other survivors of personal loss, crashdown and breakdown. 
Amen!

Retro 2015-24: Ultra Retro: Paris Reversed 02

Dear friends, as discussed in the previous post, since the Paris trip of Ultra Retro 2009, in all the preceding years, the last week of the Ultra Retro period, the final concluding week of the 4.5 month long Saturn Retrograde, has always represented the inverse, inverse, redemptive, karmic recompense, shadow, of that fateful, windfall Paris trip. In fact, every year, my last concluding posts of Saturn Retrograde, always end under the title of Paris Reversed. Even after actually having created my first full length film on that Retrograde trip, and the hangover thereafter, the last week of Ultra Retro, the comprising the very last Retro energy period, and concluding week of annual 4.5 month Saturn Retrograde itself, will be maybe forever celebrated/ mourned or ritually observed by myself as a period of acute karmic redemption, and regression. As a personal testimony of the error and misappropriation of Saturnine energies, during the acute and intense Ultra retro period. When, a Saturnine ruled person should officially regress, and acutely rewind, the gross violation of moving forward, or indulging in "quantum leaps/ breakthroughs".
And, even as I thought the last so many uncountable posts were enough, the raw physical force of saturn Retrograde, the sheer force of physical circumstances, compel me to type out the words on this keyboard, and post the posts on Saturn retrograde.

Paris Reverse: Today's 13th July, the 18th day of Ultra Retro phase, of Saturn Retro. On the 18th day, of Ultra Retro 2009, I was fully mobilised, empowered, and moving around Paris. Having crossed over, my initial days of hesitation and recitation, I had become completely at home in this strange new city. And, today as a reversion, find myself crippled, paralyzed at my home ground. A truck accident at Panchsheel flyover completely jammed the Outer Ring road, and traffic was brought to a long standstill. I had get down from the auto-rickshaw, take a Metro to Malviya Nagar stop, then take a rick to the edge of Jahapanah forest, where the bottleneck again began, and walk across the forest short cut back to home. In all my ten years in Delhi, in this area, I have never witnessed such a acutely paralytic traffic bottleneck. Back home pending, mundane, household, problems rapidly transforming into meaningless arguments and energy sapping conflicts, rapidly descended my spirit to an all time low, moon in the gutter kind of feeling. And exact reverse of the rush of exploration, adventure, adrenalin of exploring an utterly magical, and romantic city as Paris itself. The anti gravity, magically buoyant feeling, floating head-rush has aptly transformed into a clogging, filthy drain, a gutter, a rotting pile of festering human heap of  the most utterly, ridiculous meaningless, mundane garbage of human existence!!
Louvre Reversed; On the 17th day of Ultra Retro 2009, namely 29th April, 2009, I had visited the great global Art lanmark of the Louvre museum. I was roaming

Retro 2015-23: Ultra Retro: Paris Reversed

Dear friends, we're at the final phase of Saturn Retrograde, 2015. Check graph above, the red hot Ultra Retro phase, this season is from 26th Jun to 17th of July. During this phase, there is a tremendous boost of Solar/ rajasic energies. Making this an exceptional window for breakthrough for Sun, Mars, Pitta, Rajas ruled people. And thus, a very acute period of regression, redemption, and rewind for all Saturn ruled people. Check page header: Saturn Retrograde

 In my initial years of research on Saturn retrograde, I had discovered that most of my major life events, all the major forward/ breakthrough events of my life were all during Saturn retrograde. Because of which, they never persisted in the long run, or as time passed, were a source of great headache, karmic redemption, sorrow and regret. However, as I gradually being using the periods of Saturn retrograde, for karmic clearing, regression, review, karmic repayment, once Saturn went directional, it showered me with various breakthroughs, openings, developments, over the year.

One such, landmark event, happened in the Saturn retrograde of 2009. From 2005 onwards, even after my increasing awareness of Saturn Retrograde, I had found many life changing events persistently continuing to take place during Saturn Retrograde. And, once retrograde ended, it was followed by vast seasons of regression and exile. This continuing semi conscious violations of Saturn retrograde continued until the landmark Saturn retrograde of 2009.
The first 2.5 months of Increasing/ Rising Retro found me back in Mumbai, getting my missing marksheets and graduation certificates from my college. I had got admitted into Sir J.J. College of Architecture during Saturn Retrograde of 1993, and here I was getting my complete certificates 11 years after I had passed out!! If that I was not enough, I plunged into a condensed, booster, training programme of archtectural training under my classmate and friend for a quantum breakthrough into architecture. Which, as the months unfolded became the classic retrograde German invasion of Russia during the cold Russian winter. Later as I returned to the home base of Delhi, during the month of Falling Retro, a lot of discussions and debates were underway about me accompanying my wife on her official work trip to Paris, as it would be a sudden windfall trip to an ultimate destination. And alas, I the great teacher of Saturn Retrograde theories, completely overlooked, that the Paris trip was perfectly and suspiciously scheduled on the final,  zenith days of Ultra Retro, namely the very concluding, peaking, Mount Everest apex of Saturn Retro 2009. And as it was Falling Retro, some Saturnine energies were still around, and I had quite some insight that I should maybe desist, but, as they say, Ketu Hetu Harai, meanings Ketu makes one lose theior senses, and ultimately I agreed to the undeserved Paris TRip. And the progressions, tickets, etc, etc went ahead.
On the very first day of the Ultra Retro period, my then astrologer guru T.N Sarma, passed away on his heavenly abode. The person, who has taught me all my astrological secrets, especially the physics and dynamics of Saturn Retrograde, had himself passed away on the very first day of Ultra Retro. As the days unfolded, I somehow couldn't even make it back to hometown Guwahati for his Swardha, ceremnoial ceremonies. And since the tckets were made, I went on ahead with the Paris Trip of ultra, zenith, solar, peaking, final days of Saturn Retro, 2009.
What happened after that? Many, many, many, not so nice things. And the effect continued for many preceding years, before I could reverse the error with and equivalent amount of regression, to balance out things. But, one thing is that the efforts of those years of redemption, culminated in my first movie After Paris, which despite being about many things, is personally my artistic expression about the Saturnine persons experience of Saturn Retrograde. And, now and forever, the final concluding days of Saturn Retrograde, namely it's 21 day Ultra Retro period, is completely conjucnt and synonimous with my landmark Paris trip of 2009. And my movie, After Paris.
And I have written many, many posts over the years where I equated the events of Ultra Retro as a significant recompense, direct symbolic inverse of the Paris Trip, 2009. Here, I'm giving some links..

This year Ultra Retro 2015
Few days before the Ultra Retro phase commenced, I told Dipankar Roy Karmakar, my energy guide, that someone known to me always passes away during this period. And, he told me that I should now reverse that pattern, break that ensuing pattern. And that's what almost happened, my sister sms'd on the very first morning of 26th June, that our close family friend Rupak was hospitalised in ICU, in GNRC due to severe chest pains. As the days unfolded, and he was finally released. But later, as the chest pains, rebounded with great intensity and my sister decided to take a call an got him to AIIMS, New Delhi, for a thorough check up. One thing led to another, and finally we got him admitted into ICU of emergency, where he was detected with water in the pericardia area ( surrounding the heart) due to tuberculous infection. Later as one and half litre of  water was removed from the area around his heart, the doctor told us, he could collapsed anytime, in the past few days. But because of various specific prayers, as guided by my energy guide Dipankar, he crossed the danger line, and by the blessings of the divine mother, he recieved a prompt, superb and proactive medical response from the great doctors of AIIMS.
The Past few days, since last Saturday, 4th of June, I have been mostly in AIIMS hospital campus, alternating with my sister in her shifts. In the last two days, we did get an attendant Vijayan to stay for the night. Reminded me of my father's total knee joint replacement (TKR) surgery in July 2009, at AIIMS, at AB-1 Ortho Ward. It was a long drawn out month affair. Which immedeatly followed after the return from the Ultra Retro Paris visit, in May '09. In fact from June itself, my father and sister reached Delhi, and the consultations with AIIMS doctors began. It took six years of Karmic balancing, but this year, Saturn Retro 2015, the AIIMS event has finally shifted it's energy from 2009, and finally occurred directly in the period of Ultra Retro itself. As how it was meant, in my Saturnine world. I am glad for the healing intervention of my energy guide Dipankar said, allowing the post Saturn retrograde, of the AIIMS event, to be finally shifted, reoriented, rescheduled to it's scheduled Saturnine timing in the cosmic order of things. Enabling me to finally override, balance out, neutralize the cosmic imbalance of Ultra Retro 2009.
Glory be to the Divine mother, who has the power to modify the unfolding patterns of Kaal/ Time, itself. And, as i repeat hundred times, in the corridor shot of After Paris... Jai Shanidev!!

Retro 2015-23: my retrograde film After Paris

Dear friends, this is my 23rd post on annual Saturn retrograde, 2015. In uncountable posts, I have written in detail about the theoretical dynamics of Saturn retrograde, but today, I want to share a direct emotional expression of this phase. Today, I want to talk about my frozen film After Paris, which is a seeding, result, cause, origin, of  Saturn retrograde for me. And on past one month of retrospection, I feel it utterly expresses the emotional experience of  Saturn retrograde, especially from the Saturn ruled/ Saturnine perspective.

As explained in uncountable posts before and especially my page header: Saturn Retrograde, Saturn retrograde is a period for moving ahead for pitta ruled, Sun, Mars, Ketu ruled people, and a period of retrospection, regression, retrograde for Saturnine people. It's a time for brooding, stasis, static, frozen energies. And, After Paris is all about that static, brooding, heavy energy of entropy, ennui, hangover, gravitas, lethargy, contemplation, retrospection, regression that is characteristic of Saturn retrograde.

Primarily, the movie, maybe my first and last, is about my deep seated hangover, after a sudden, windfall, trip to Paris, during the peak,  concluding three weeks, the Ultra Retro phase, of Saturn Retrograde. In Ultra Retro period, Saturnines are supposed to be in a state of redemption, regression, hibernation, and stasis. But conversely, through opportune circumstances, I made a great quantum leap, a sudden windfall magic trip to Paris, in the Ultra Retro phase of Saturn Retro, 2009. The residual hangover, of which has persevered for me, across the expanse of uncountable seasons.

And, it was many years later, when my cousin Sangram Gautam took the residual footage of my 20 min film, and took it forward, we began shooting to complete it into a 30 min. But Sangrams visuals knocked at lurking emotions in my underbelly, that we and finally ended up in a full length film of 90 mins, a perfect depiction of Retrograde energies. If this is the first and last film I end up making, and if NO ONE ends up watching it, it would still leave some deep seated satisfaction for me. For it physically, graphically, and cinematically expresses the most widespread, universal, most repeating personal experience of my life. The experience of exile, entropy, alienation, isolation, ennui, the hallmark of retrograde energies.

And, in the past almost one month of gap from writing posts, I felt the hangover of this frozen movie pouring all over me. It's frozen images, depiction of deep stasis, coincide with my current experience of Saturn Retro 2015. I thought, give it a rest, from blogging, but a month later, it was too much. The piling mountains of gravitas, of retrograde energies, have compelled me with this outburst about my frozen, quite unseen movie After Paris.

This movie is about my journey, not only in THIS life, but also previous lives. A guy who was once ruled by Pitta, Sun, Mars, Ketu energies in previous incarnations, violated them severely, and now, was seeking redemption through the catharsis, window period of Saturn retrograde. That's the basic story of my life, across the continuing span of many lifetimes!!
Only through the pullback, regression, withdrawal, retrospection mandatory to all Saturnines, during Saturn retrograde, could I ever hope to crawl out of this mess, this piled up garbage heap of many pending lifetimes.

And, at this hour on intense retrograde, what better time than now, to truly express the (retrograde) story of my life. Why I am, the way I am at 41 years, today, still. Frozen, in time, in stasis, in a coccoon of wrapped up entanglements. The movie, is a artistic and personal catharsis, a unravelling of the retrograde energies entangled with my life. My personal, astrological, karmic, story.
For, you can write and write, but a movie expresses it far more better, than you ever could hope to. For, in the unfolding process of this movie, things happened, events unfolded, that gave it shape, meaning, grammar, characters, and contents. The movie, more or less created itself out of saturn retrograde energies, I was merely the medium.

They are true, when they say, hell, heaven, paradise and damnation, all are here, on earth in this mundane physical existence. The only illusion being, we don't see the continuing journey across many lifetimes. Taking our current existence.
So, in the end I dedicate the retrograde spirit of my film After Paris, to a track by semi unknown, genius musical composer O' Bryan, especially to the haunting bass line of his song, (click the youtube link)- Soft Touch by O' Bryan.
And to the last concluding lines, from my favourite poem "An Irish Airman Foresees his Death" by W. .B. Yeats...

Nor public men, nor cheering crowds ( to spur us onwards)..

A lonely impulse of delight

Drove to this tumult in the clouds;

I balanced all, brought all to mind,

The years to come seemed waste of breath,

A waste of breath the years behind

In balance with this life, this death.

Retro 2015-22:Revised dates

Dear friends, in many previous posts, I had posted the annual schedule for annual Saturn Retrograde as follows.. (check graph below)

However, this year's annual Saturn Retro also coincided with a window for universal Energy Clearing as announced by my energy guide Dipankar Roy Karmakar. Click link: (Log 11: window-of-clearing). And, after physically experiencing intense, cathartic, clearing experiences, that extended beyond the 26th of Jun, (my phone got stolen yesterday), I have slightly revised the annual schedule by few days, here and there. And, by which, ( check graph below), the various phases indicated in distinct colors, are neatly falling into  the months of April, May, June, and July. Especially now, that I have been initiated into energy Clearing, I can actually experience the living, breathing energy and power of the astrological phases that I write about. Even when I make errors of judgement due to mechanically, logical, statistical viewpoints, these living, breathing energies makes me experience things in their proper form, like my phone getting stolen yesterday!!! So that I may corroborate the proper current data. Super Scary, but yet, a direct testimony of the the living, breathing energy of such planetary phases!!

Retro 2015-22:Neutral Month

Dear friends, the period from 26th May to 26th June, is what is called the Falling Retro phase of Saturn Retrograde (check above diagram). In this month, there is a considerable Neutral energy, compared to the usual energy contrasts of Saturn Retrograde. In this period, both Sun and Saturnine people are in level ground, and in relative rest. They are considerably open to influences from prevailing transits of other planets, and their personal/ internal energies. Like a car in neutral gear. Cheers to my shortest post so far..!

Retro 2015-21:Max Retro Velocity of 2015 part 2

In the previous post I was saying, how 20th, 21st, 22nd, and 25th May were the days of maximum retrograde velocity of Saturn for 2015. Today is 25th of May, from tomorrow, 26th May, the month long phase of Falling Retro, of Saturn Retrograde, commences. (check diagram below)

 Today, on this day of high solar/ rajasic energies, should be a moment of adrenalin for Sun/ Mars/ Ketu/ Pitta ruled people and a day of tremendous constricting gravitas and low for the Saturn ruled. Over the weekend, I referred a handwritten journal of mine from 2011, full of intricately detailed notes about Saturn Retro 2011. Those days we were working on a interiors turnkey of a clinic at Hauz Khaz. The project was so incredibly besotted with problems, that we were all exasperated beyond imagination. And, I found myself in a stranglehold from all sides. Then, the peak days of Rising Retro, was from 1st to 6th April, six harrowing days, of  Maximum Retrograde velocity of Saturn. After reading the scrawly handwritten notes, I discovered an interesting fact, that within the six days of Maximum Retrograde velocity of Saturn, 2011, though the retrograde velocity dipped in between those six days, but the visible effects of relief that Falling Retro brings, could only be experienced only when the last and fage end of those six days, was conclusively over. Basically, it aint over till it's Over! The days in between, when Saturn retrograde velocity had shown to plunge/ dip temporarily,  didn't reflect at all in terms of relief and release from my saturnine perspective. In fact I quote a line from my hand written journal, dated 6th April, Wednesday, the final day of Max Saturn Retro velocity for the year, 2011.. "Is today the peak/ Zenith of Rising Retro?? Cannot Pull on more, without Relief! Somethings Gotta Give!!". such were the spasms of exclamation that left my pen , in those turbulent, upheaval filled, strangulating days of that demonic project ( my last involvement in any inetriors prject, since then).
Surprisingly, on the very next day, 7th April, 2011, once Falling Retro had confirmed set in, I got a call from my friend, fellow architect Kapil, about a Vastu project, and which later over the years opened another route of repeat business opportunities for me. On the very first day of Falling Retro itself. Reading the journal has given a echo of that sentiment in my current state of experience in Saturn Retro, 2015. Annual Saturn Retrograde only merely reflects the state of Karmic energies you are carrying within yourself. And, in that respect the state of experience of saturn Retrograde, 2015 is definitely far better than Retro, 2011. But, the strangulating pressure upon one's life, limb, neck, soul experienced by Saturn ruled people during this period, is definitely equally oppressive, in the annual current affairs of things. Throughout, the weekend I was utterly confused, whether the effects of Falling Retro had commenced, because Saturday, and Sunday there was a drop in the Retrograde velocity of Saturn. But after reading the journals motes from 2011, I realise that, no it IS NOT over until 26th May, tomorrow. And though, my exasperation is not in magnitude, equivalent to the desperation fo 2011, but the exasperation is considerable. And I repeat from my words from handwritten journal, 6th April, Wednesday.. Somethings Gotta Give!!"