Log 05: After Paris resurrection

In a previous post Log-04:My-Saturnine-film-After-Paris I talked about my personal journey of resurrection narrated in my first ever and autobiographical film After Paris. But, as time unfolds, my personal experience may have relevance to current global events. The journey of recovery and resurrection in the film, may be emotionally relevant for the survivors of the bloodbath in the Parisian streets, and similar survivors of other catastrophe  throughout the world.


I once showed my film to my aunt who's surviving the death of her loved son, my beloved cousin and friend . She could strongly connect to my personal story and it gave her some succor from her ocean of sorrow. I hope, similarly my film can provide some succor for the victims of the Paris attack, and other survivors of personal loss, crashdown and breakdown. 
Amen!

Log 03: my Saturnine film "After Paris"

As my regular periodical habit, and as with my other two blogs, today I have modified this blog Saturnine's description to "Blog about the journeys, experiences, processes, and karmic lessons of Shanidev/ Saturn." I think Shanidev/ Saturn is completely about gradual processes, long journeys,  and long brewing experiences. It's always a slow gradual unfolding with Shanidev/ Saturn. A slow unfolding journey in which we have many Karmic revelations and lessons to learn. Out of the ten names of Saturn one is "mand" which means slow/ gradual. And I think the Saturnine  experience/ process is a unwinding, spiraling, serpentine journey. It's one of gradual unfolding, development. I would compare the Saturnine path with "sahaja" yoga. Our will/ focus/ actions are ruled by the Sun, and they are hot/ live/ central to our consciousness. But often their effects are peripheral, tangential, delayed consequences are gradual build ups on the periphery, edges, which are ruled by Shanidev/ Saturn. With Saturn, the harvests are long term, gradual, peripheral and tangential. 

Few days I had wanted to write and upload a post on my Neptunian blog, about my first full length film After Paris-(click link) which I had been working and wrapping up in the past two months. But somehow sat on the decision, out of pure Saturnine lethargy for a few days. And here I am posting about it on my Saturnine blog. Because I feel, at the end of it, After Paris is a highly Saturnine film about my own gradual, Karmic, personal journey over a very long period of time. A period of time in which I underwent many uncountable karmic unfoldings and experiences.

I had actually shot the Paris footage whimsically in my Paris trip of 2009, with my wife Sangeeta. And mad a rough narrative into a 20 minute structure in windows media player on my old outdated computer. Over the years I re-edited the 20 minute film many times over in different structures and formats. But then left it for a looong time to stew, and brew on my ancient, outdated computer. It was only in 2014, when my cousin Sangram Gautam (Bubka), suddenly took an interest in wrapping up the long stewing film on his editing setup. I began by shooting some scenes with him, to create up a five minute sequence to wrap up the 20 minute film. But so much I loved the cinematography and visual grammar of cousin Sangram, that I/ we went on and on, and on. Finally, we ended up with a full length 90 min, one and half hour, full length, video feature film. One which I personally feel, comprehensively and thoroughly depicted my karmic exiles, serpentine journeys, karmic odyessy over a vastre expanse of years. I feel After Paris perfectly describes my association, depiction and dedication to the word Saturnine. And, even if one person can relate to  the Saturnine experience, journey, slow brewing experience depicted in the film, I have found great personal fulfillment. Thanks to all those who accompanied me in the process.

Jai Shanidev!!

Retro2014:01: Melancholia- Lars Von Trier

Todays 21st Februray, 2014. And we are already two days into the Arrest phase of Saturn Retrograde, beginning from 4th of march. See graph below. The brown coloured "Arrest" phase commences, two weeks before Saturn retrograde actually begins from 4th March. This "Arrest"phase gives us signs and feelers into the approaching phase of the 4.5 month long Saturn Retrograde. And as a sign of the coming times, I randomly and unplannedly ended up watching Lars Von Triers movie Melancholia, stg Kirsten Dunst, and Charlotte Gainsbourg. I had sworn to never watch any of his movies after the super dark, ghoulish Anti Christ, banned in Cannes itself. But since I am still permanently hungover his earlier unbelievable Dogville, stg Nicole Kidman, I took courage. This makes perfect sense as far as this brown coloured "Arrest" phase is concerned. A perfect preamble, prefatory gesture into the approaching Saturn Retrograde...

From the first frame of Melancholia, I was mesmerized. the emotions of Saturn Retrograde perfectly expressed in all it's full glory. Kirsten Dunst in a super slow motion frame, with autumn leaves falling on all sides. An unimaginable opening sequence of  suspended time, suspended animation. Still, static, floating objects. In a timeless space, forever frozen. things clacified, fossilized in midst of their motion. Frozen into statues, 3 dimensional time sculptures. Saturn retrograde expressed beyond imagination.

In the movie storyline, a vast asteroid/ planet called Melancholia hidden behind the Sun, crosses  paths with the earths orbit in a collision course. finally ending in a total cataclysmic global catastrophe. The entire movie is a slow, nerve crawling buildup to this looming catastrophe. In fact, the underlying darkness, sense of looming doom was much more effective and powerful than Trier's  ghoulish movie Anti Christ. In fact the dread, melancholia stays with you much longer.. and deeper.On the surface there's beauty, but beneath that there's a acute sense of Gravitas, foreboding doom of a approaching unimaginable fate.

Melancholia in Terms of Saturn Retrograde
But what  was most awesome, was this movie being the perfect expression of this rapidly approaching Saturn Retrograde. I could have watched this dated movie, anytime, but yet I was watching it now, in the brown coloured Arrest period of Saturn retrograde (check above graph). Seeing the signs, portents of things to come in this rapidly approaching 4.5 month long period of Saturn Retrograde 2014. As i will explain myself in future posts in detail, Saturn Retrograde is a period of forward motion, becoming, identity for the Sun ruled people. But for Saturnines, i.e, the Saturn ruled people, it's a time of unbecoming, unraveling, regression, decay and retreat.

The movie opened with joy, magic, fun, social warmth, ceremony, success of Kirsten Dunst's marriage. Somewhat like the forward, glorious motion I have been experiencing since Saturn went directional in my ascendant house, in it's exalted position in Libra since July 2013. But then, everything goes haywire, as Lars Von Trier runs amok with his usual iconoclastic darkness. Everything falls apart, in a series of unimaginable disasters, until the final Cataclysmic Catastrophe, where the runaway blue planet Melancholia ultimately crashes into the Earth, ending all human life. Somewhat, like the effects we Saturnines, saturn ruled people experience during Saturn's retrograde motion. Somewhat chilling as this Saturn Retrograde is happening in my ascendant house Libra, directly aspecting my 7th house, ruled by marriage and partnerships.
What was noticeable, was the twilightish colour blue in the entire movie. The planet Melancholia suffused everything with it's turquoise illumination. But this was haunting pale "melancholic" blue. This is the melancholic "blue" colour of Saturn Retrograde, that all Saturn ruled people experience during Saturn's retrograde motion. What we call the "Blues". This blue is not soothing, but a haunting twilight blue, unimaginable. In one scene Kirtsen Dunst lies beneath the night sky, fully naked and exposed to the Blue rays of looming planet of dread, Melancholia. It's a sequence of suspended animation, things floating in static suspension, with a VAST underlying feeling of dread and unease.  You can actually sense the invisible portent of pproachinga cataclysmic doom. Almost mirroring the  sense and feelings of the of the approaching Saturn Retrograde in my ascendant sign Libra, in my self itself.
My approaching dread of Saturn Retrograde, magically expressed by the stunningly visual and the  suspended animation of Lars Von Trier's haunting movie... Melancholia..

Crawl 03: Two sides of Gravity

Today, on occasion of our 8th marriage anniversary, we went to see Gravity the movie in 3D, at luxury theatre of PVR, Directors cut @ Ambience Mall, Vasant Kunj, The movie was spectacularly, full of special effects, two astronauts marooned in space, human struggle, emotional drama in space. Sandra Bullock with a stellar performance. an emotional movie worth watching!!! Now from the saturnine viewpoint...

From the Saturnine perspective: Gravity is such a loaded word! my first connection with the word was with the John Meyer song "Gravity". he sings about gravity dragging him down under, in the same lines of other songs: the song "i believe I can fly", Nicole Kidman in Moulin Rouge " One day i'll Fly away", and most importantly Pink floyd's "Learning to Fly'. All these, and another million songs are about flight, anti gravity, flying away, into the sky/ beyond. Gravity, the movie talks about a complete reversal of this scenario, without Gravity, without humanity, lost, marooned, isolated in hevavenly space, you crave, die, long, to return to the ground, terra firma, .. and Gravity! In the last scene sandra bullock claws, grasps at mud on a lake's edge,cherishing gravity! In most metaphysics/ astrology etc, Saturn Shanidev has been always associated with Gravity/ gravitas. everyone curses him for the heaviness/ burden of their lives, but like in this movie, outside of his influence, in the cold, suspended animation of zero gravity, free folating, unberable terror holds!! What Milan Kundera calls: The Unbearable Lightness of being!

Being Libran ascendant, my ascendant constellation/ Nakshatra is Swati (15), the symbol of which is "young plant shoot blown by the wind".. basically a rootless, ungrounded character. who could crave for saturnine gravity, the ROOT-edness of the Muladhar chakra, more than ME! I could so identify with the later part of the film, as Sandra bullock, alone in space, yet scrambling, scampering to return to earth/ root/ Gravity!! So what I'm saying is cherish the Gravity, the Saturnine heaviness, the Karmic burdens, that we constantly bicker about. WITHOUT it, we could be so utterly rootless, un-grounded, lost/ marooned in space! So, cheers to Gravity, the movie! Jai Shanidev!