Been a while since I posted about ongoing Saturn Retrograde. Completely Forgetting that it's a Karmic functionality for me ( check my previous thousand posts on Saturn Retro). And that I get some kind of reprieve from it's tallows, when I keep on writing about it. Otherwise it becomes quite messy, like I recently found out. The swamps become deeper and muddier. The mud rises from the knees up to your neck. Almost swallowing you down under. Completely.
Today's post suddenly began at 2:49 am, Monday morning. Abruptly and suddenly. As I woke up from sleep, uncharacteristically. As if, the culminating events of the past week, almost coerced me to write. Compulsively and abruptly, and without ceremony. More like a human experiencing Saturn Retrograde.
Bereft of the astrological interpretations of the previous posts of Saturn retrograde 2025. As if, strangulating gravitation, choked me up, and writing was the only activity, that provided air passage to my lungs. Writing directly, and without ado.
Is this what we would experience while crossing through a black hole? As gravity increased exponentially and time itself reversed? And we began to be confronted, and haunted by the ghosts from the past. As they immensely and fervently clawed at our soul.
I took a screenshot of my first Saturn retrograde blog post, previously uploaded on Threads. Reminding my own self of its ongoing schedule. A schedule that Surpassed all other PREVAILING AND ONGOING astrological transits. Especially for me. I have written about it already.
Why I discontinued writing on Retrograde was because of two reasons: Readers/ audience, and secondly astrological content. But as a human writing about Saturn Retrograde for about twenty years, both online and offline, I could just summon up the decades long inertia.. and just continue..
Maybe these words uploaded on the post served some deeper, direct, karmic functionality that I was yet to fathom.
As soon, as I opened my mobile in the darkness, this song popped up before me.. On YouTube.
And, which, I played in a loop, to help me spurn forth these words of mine. Just writing about BEING/ existing in Retrograde. Remembering the title of Being and Nothingness by Jean Paul Sartre. Just BEING/ existing. Extrapolate on the fibres, and cables of BEING/ existing itself. Without ANY event or content. Except one. Saturn Retrograde! Just that. Only that singular one.
Now, it's 3:12 am, the strangulating grasp upon my neck feels a bit relieved. The heart feels slightly less heavier. But yet, so far, down this post, I have complete and utterly, written about nothing in particular, so far. But.. Just written.
And by listening to a singular song that popped up on YouTube, at this unearthly hour. It's not even, of my particular taste. But slightly hovered around the songs in my Smouldering Blues Country folder amongst 134 other astrologically sorted music folders, sorted According to. Mood, nuance and shade.
Saturn retrograde writing has always had it's own way with me. Surpassing time, space, borders, definition and objectivity. Just the Smouldering Blue of the universe, reaching out to me. Tapping me on my shoulders in a unearthly hour. To just wake up, and relentlessly write. About the metaphysical churning process of Saturn retrograde.
About what it feels like to be human. Bereft of all content, and trappings. The hardware beneath, all that overwhelming software.
I have read enough in my lifetime to tangentially grasp, out of the corner of my eye, that, this piece would have been some great passage of writing, if placed in the right place in a novella, or a piece which was about self reflection.
But no!! .. It had to be this random piece in my blog, strictly about the metaphysics of Saturn retrograde. About it's human nitty gritty. This was not writing, but rambling about nothingness in particular. I wouldn't call it the Void, as it has been, the intellectual trend in the past hundred years or so. I would call it nothingness. The nothingness of the hardware that operates our human consciousness and Experiencing. Beneath all that overloaded software. Like the massive library of Apps, pictures, and music in your phone.
But, beneath it all, the loneliness, and emptiness of the hardware.
One thing definitely bothers me though. I can ONLY write this well, only when, I'm writing about Saturn retrograde. Otherwise, my writing ALWAYS feels forced, contrived, phallocentric and hollow. And I rapidly tire of the process of writing, even while I'm at it.
But Saturn retrograde is different. It taps on your shoulder. Wake you up at an unearthly hour. To just wake your senses, and write. Listening to a singular piece of music, that just found you, and just write.
Anyways, it's 3: 46 am now, I'm a bit woozy now, so I'll end this post..
.. As abruptly as I began..
🙏🏼🙏🏼🌷🌷 Jai Shanidev 🌷🌷🙏🏼🙏🏼
