Saturday, June 28, 2014

Ultra Retro 2014: 13th June- 7th July

(contd from previous post)....

28th June Saturday 
In the previous post I wrote about tradition of regression during the three week Ultra retro phase by saturnine people. My return to hometown Guwahati is happening amidst massive floods. Our neighbourhood  in Zoo Tiniali at Santi path submerged underwater. Rumour has it that Congress stopped clearing the municipal drains after BJP came to power. One way or the people end up suffering. Not to mention that the train I was supposed to be travelling on Monday got derailed at Bihar, 11 injured, 4 dead. At least I reached alive. Even though after a lot of delays and detours. Feeling so severely disoriented at having not reached home as yet. Nomadic existence. But such is the disorientation mandatory for all Saturnine ie Saturn ruled people during Saturn retrograde especially during the three weeks of concluding phase of Ultra Retro. I find repeatedly explaining the same thing over and over so tiresome. But what to do, after all it's a standard feature of Saturn retrograde.Last time I was home about three weeks back for the shraddh ceremony of my cousin Ahir, I had to return back in merely three days on account of a robbery in our Delhi resident. Right now I feel like I'm reliving and repeating the same time loop over and over again. The perfect hallmark of Saturn retrograde!!!

The programme for the next few days is to regress backwards in time and also appropriate the Gravitas energy so natural for the Saturnine person. Hence, even though I'm technically in my home are, there's a inherent displacement, disconnect happening because of the flood situation. And the dehydration begun in the scorching heat of Delhi. The dehydration had the tenacity to crossover from scorching summer to flood besotted tropical nightmare. That's the resilience natural for Ultra Retro. This super continuity of dehydration. Moreover, this semi conscious zombie like stupor I'm in is continuing from past ten days. All Saturnine people should engage in maximum Gravitas, brooding, stillness during these few days. Momentum, movement, should be restricted to the Sun ruled for now.  I want to exercise maximum activities to the archival, theoretical, observational modes as opposed to actual and real movement. Voluntary regression.

28th June- 2nd July  
Since I didn't have continual access to the net these past few days, hence have decided to club together the narratives from 28th June to 2nd July. 28th June, Saturday evening found me regressing back into the depths of Meghalaya, the abode of clouds, directly into NEIGRHMS hospital, where we had to admit a friend of ours Kaushik Bhaumik, for palpitation, and suffocation, directly into the ICCU, cardiography. This Saturn retrograde force was so strong that we almost directly bypassed hometown Guwahati into overnight duty at the ICCU, Cardio, Neigrhms, in the far recesses of Meghalaya. Sunday was involved in check ups, hospital formalities, tests, etc, and evening was spent in resting from our appointed works.

2nd July, Wednesday, was a direct inverse of Tuesday, 28th April, 2009, which was my first day in Paris alone, exploring a foreign land for the first time ever. That corresponding day of Ultra retro 2009, Paris trip was reversed by this 1st July, Wednesday, some major psychological counselling, investigation, a kind of impromptu conference on the self at the victorian Pinewood hotel at Shillong. It was the Paris trip completely reversed, in a highly internalised way. The European/ Parisian connection was there, but completely and utterly geometrically inverted, retrograded, reversed. That day, in 2009, was a fantastic moment of OUTWARD voyage, of Venturing out from the internal trappings of the self. This day, now was was a rupture, an implosive moment of INWARD voyage, of delving into the Innerspace of incomprehensible territories and negotiations of the psyche/ self. Thanks to inputs from the analysis of a now recovering Kaushik Bhaumik. Such acute symmetric inversion is only possible during the acute phase of Ultra Retro of saturn retrograde. For the intuited observer, time actually replays itself during this period, reversing itself, creating a shadow symmetrical opposite/ inverse, of prior solar behaviour of prior saturn retrograde phases from earlier years. This is the only period in the year, when the saturn ruled person can actually re-experience history being repeated and replayed. But often in a symmetrical inverse of earlier events occurring in the corresponding days of Ultra Retro of relevant years. What's remarkable is that the Solar behaviour, Paris Trip of 2009, has persistently continued to cast it's shadow inversions, in now what is the 6th successive year, in saturn Retrograde, 2014. Drawing an analogy to this can help one understand the repetitive cyclic loops created by malefic planets in prior times. And how we can exorcise, undo their effects, influences only in cyclic layers, over periods of time!!

3rd July, Thursday  
This date corresponds to 29th April, Wednesday, 2009, the day i visited Louvre museum. A day of PENETRATION into the treasure trove of the worlds greatest arts. And today, Thursday, 3rd July, by a symmetrically corresponding inverse, a descent/ RETRACTION from the cloudy womb of my place of magic, since childhood, Shillong, back into the plains of hometown Guwahati. That day of  Louvre was a location, a position on a place, which is globally utterly famous, now more so, because of it's depiction in box office movies like The Da Vinci Code, The Edge of Tomorrow. But correspondingly, today, my journey finds me regressed back into the far backwaters of North Gwhy, Amingaon, engaging in this highly regressive narration, my luggage and stuff scattered away far and wide. Then was universal recognition, and today profound obscurity. To map todays activity of blogging, on the event map of my life would be next to impossible. Then, ultra retro 2009, was a moment located on a point of universal global recognition, the Louvre museum. Now, ultra retro, 2014, is an (in)voluntary moment of extreme obscurity, vagueness, abstraction. A sheer, and voluntarily enhanced, moment of theoretical narrative, nomadic, uprooted, non location, in between different territories, located on a point of unimaginable obscurity, non-cognition. As always, I find utmost satisfaction in being able to correspond that event of Louvre visit, with an equally inverted reversed moment of non event, lost territory, non place, of my "NOW" typing on this Macbook air, furtively borrowed from Kaushik Bhaumik.
THOSE days of Parisian trip, was so super light, OUT there, FAR and AWAY, Up and Above. Levitas, levitas, Levitas. THESE days of Hometwon trip, has been so super heavy, IN here, close, hidden, subterranean, visceral, uncomfortably WITHIN, inside the trappings of my own psyche, below and Beneath my own persona. What lies beneath. Within ourselves. Gravitas, Gravitas, Gravitas.

3rd July, 5:23 pm, today and four more days for the ultra retro phase to be over. I'm definitely narrating inconsistently this year. in fragments. the perfect way to do so, in this phase. of all things i was cleaning my account. i hardly check it. only to access to blogger. out of piled up mails, one from, something that i must have subscribed to read.. "He who kneels before God can stand before anyone!!".  something that i totally agree in relation to Lord Shanidev. those saturn ruled people who kneel, regress, bend backwards during saturn retrograde, can really move forward, once Saturn turns directional. i remember my paris trip of ultra retro 2009. By Now, today, i was completing the tour of Louvre museum, soaked up to the brim with the most unimaginable day of gorging on Classic master works, paintings, seen from childhood. satiated on art, was i, by this hour. maybe standing below the glass pyramid of the louvre. and today, on it's corresponding day, am trying to regress, empty, sort out, as much as possible. Hey, cheers, i just managed to sort out the last unread email on that account. i want to update, regress, regurgitate (chewing the cud) as much as possible.
7:41pm. sometimes I don't upload, but sometimes I overdo it. like now. feeling unbelievably restless. all the gravitas accumulated during ultra retrograde is getting transmuted into something. I was checking the last years final days of Ultra retrograde, and there was a lot of purging still going on. this time, comparatively, it has been very internal and quiet. A stillness, disconnection from everything and everybody. Isolated in an island, and oozing with restlessness and unease. time has actually become slower, in slow motion. increasingly  like walking through molasses, viscous fluid.
Brooding, Tensile, stagnant electricity
Also one strange inversion of that 2009 paris trip, currently I'm experiencing is highly libidinal. Everyone hyped up the expectation of Paris for me, saying it was the most romantic, sensual city in the world. And all that structuralist hype, phallocentric projection totally crushed my natural libidinal reserves. if anything at all, I found it extremely mystical, mental, cerebral. So correspondingly and inversely, right now I'm suddenly going through a outpouring of excessive libidinal outbursts. For no immediate and apparent external reason, but only, the hidden fact/ causation of that Solar structuralist violation of Ultra retro, 2009. There is this tangible, tensile, gnawing, brooding electricity, almost a conscious awareness of the Saturnine bowstring, pulled backwards to it's tensile limits, yearning, craving to be set free, unleashed loose. I can really describe it viscerally, personally, subjectively, ONLY during the brooding tension of saturn retrograde. As if, the External glamour/ internal Void of the Paris trip, has been replaced by it's corresponding symmetric inverse, that of External Void, stagnation and an internal flood-tide, overcharge, "sailaab" of emotions.  Obviously, in my natural, I'm more a free flowing, natural tripping, breezy guy. At least, when i'm left to my own devices. A natural state of mood, which is in stark contrast with this current strange sweaty humid tropical reptilian mood. where the glow of this borrowed Mac screen, reflecting on my clammy, reptilian face. Because of this somewhat intense nature of subjective description, I won't share it immediately on google+, as I'm usually inclined to do. Let the solitary reader unravel, and scroll down on their own initiative.
The outward/ spectacular Paris trip of Ultra retro 2009, has inverted/ reversed itself in a internal unfolding of inland waterways, personal backwater regressions. A fragmented unfolding of the psyche/ mind/ self. And if you're Sun ruled you should expect the reverse!!

Becomings/ Un-becomings
4th of july, friday. And early morning, just after awakening, finds me directly jumping into narrative, almost seamlessly, this process of unbecoming, unravelling of past few days. as if in direct opposition to the Paris becoming of Ultra retro 2009. Yes, by now, Thursday, 30th April, '09, the Paris trip had converted into an Paris becoming. I had begun, from this very morning, becoming one, fusing, melding, with the flow of Paris. The objective burden of the Louvre visit behind me (everyone having said: "you MUST visit the Louvre, especially YOU"). Synchronously my friend Nisha, shares a funny picture on Facebook.. of a cheesy local newspaper which goes so far as to announce a congratulatory note to a couple who have "successfully completed" their phoren australian honeymoon trip. This comic cheesy share, this cliche oozing pic, has magically inverted/ reversed itself into my current understanding the SEVERE FLAW of participating in the grand solar activity of the Forward Moving, globally accepted, highly endorsed, Universal Event of the Paris trip, DURING the unbecoming period of saturn retrograde. especially during it's Ultra Retro phase. Also, when retrograde is over, this current NEED for such deeply complicated overloaded, serpentine descriptions won't be necessary to conduct/ explain myself in the worldly realm.
The sheer heaviness of this Unbecoming process of the saturn ruled during saturn retrograde. For, Saturn is the highly worldly planet of becomings, material manifestations, actualization for all us Saturn ruled, the Saturnines. PROVIDED we wholeheartedly participate in the mandatory process of Unbecoming during saturn retrograde. Unravel the layers of our being, explore it's complex contradictions. voluntarily wallow in the backwaters.

Position v.s Momentum
4th july, 7;15 am, friday. Also, the Paris trip in Ultra Retro 2009, was an unusual period for me, as it represented a gap in my otherwise severe and prolific habit of daily journals. Except a hastily jotted down weird note, sitting in the Louvre, there are hardly any entries, only gaps left in the pages, to be filled up later. Pretty weird for a guy, who couldn't digest his food, unless the minutes of everyday were faithfully noted down in my endless journals. In fact, this necessary habit of mine has been undone in the saturn Retro 2012, where I actually discovered this process of daily writing to be retrograde. And by overdoing the descriptions, serpentine unravellings that Retro season, i did away with this habit, proceeding ahead to live and physically experience life, and not by the mandatory necessity by taking severe, acute scholarly notes, all the time. to live experientially. That's the Saturnine way!

Highly, Over-descriptive descriptions
Hence, the necessary compensatory activity for me, NOW, is for these severely, personal, subjective unravellings, expressed in volumes and volumes of words and descriptions, and multi layered analyses. to create this maps of positions, plotting every point. in the quantum expression, shunning movement, momentum, in lieu for position, plotting, theory. WHEREAS, Then, Paris was the ultimate, external, recognized, CENTRE/ location in the world. NOW, my notes, my current physical location, willfully muddled, obscured and unrecognised, un- endorsed, at the PERIFERRY, edge, fringes. And my internal self full of MOMENTUM/ movement, whereas NOW my internal self full of gravitas, theory, inward, regressive, un-becomings. Even these notes, writings, are on a blog, just as a sacrificial offering, for all those wishing to understand the laws of reversal during Saturn Retrograde. This mandatory, inward, complicated unravellings, musings during retrograde yields harvests of practical, worldly manifestations, free of necessary explanations, ONCE this ultra retro phase concludes. And, those having patience enough, would understand, that, my current ultra descriptive narration, highly influenced and reminiscent of my ever favorite Edgar Alan Poe, would realise that i'm often writing about the very writing process itself. describing the VERY process of description, narrating and explaining the Very process of narrative!!!! That's what i call saturnine deconstruction! Jai Shanidev!

Cathartic writing
The Sun being in my 12th house, in Virgo conjuncted with Mercury, gives me excellent descriptive, communicating skills, but alas of a cathartic nature. hence, my writing skills can only be used in the ideal form of catharsis, cleansing, compensation, voluntary sacrifice. This  is a truth I had to unravel during retro 2012, through a rigorous process of self examination, and analysis. And which (as I wrote in the previous post) of slowly doing away with writing, mandatory explanations, in lieu of the directly physical experience. Hence, this form of overly descriptive cathartic writing is highly placed during the cathartic phase of saturn retrograde.
.4th July, friday, 2014

Even though the blogging medium allows heavily updated posts to be easily scrolled down, but personally I felt too many layers/ concepts are going into this post. almost making it feel like a burgeoning vertical tower, on the teetering edge of collapse. hence, I'm cotinuing to the next post in continuation... 

(cont'd to next post)....

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